A Word... or Two
Repent!
Do not be deceived.
Do not be seduced.
Watch & Pray!... without ceasing!
Now!
Not later!
And don't stop.
Nina,
Soli Deo Gloria
Saturday, April 4, 2020
Friday, February 14, 2020
Facets/Perspectives
Now everyone can SEE clearly! The New Year has arrived...
I know it's February - Valentine's Day here in the US...
I love you too... So, I write today... Actually, Father gave me thoughts and said, "Do something with these...".
I recently discovered "Dry Bar Comedy", (clean comedy), and one of their featured comedians asked his audience, " When did it become wrong to have differing opinions?" He made his point when he shared that he is a Black man who respects police officers and that he appreciated the viewpoints of some republicans and some democrats... His point was, people nowadays have the opinion that ONLY their opinion matters and it's the correct opinion and you should have it too!
The audience laughed and applauded!
I agree!
We live in times that George Orwell warned against in his novel "1984". We can only speak the way those presumed to be in power dictate. We can only think one way - their way - least we are vilified. We must act or react to circumstances based upon what is trending... for the moment.
This sounds really crazy... This in the year 2020 - is what we have come to, in the western world... I'm old enough to remember a time when those with the loudest voice asserted that we should throw off "restraints"... , and everyone was to "make love - not war" and sex was to be revolutionized... Women burned their bras and babies were aborted and responsibility went out the door. Everybody could do whatever they wanted... Power was to the people...
Life was supposed to be better...
Some would say it was, but according to whose perspective...
From where I'm sitting, it seems nothing has really changed and we've come full circle. Oddly enough, we are still following the dictates of the popular masses, (not that these numbers are so large, they are just in charge!), and little has changed as far as what we are following, however the statistics and the carnage left behind increases at an unbelievable staggering rate.
Numbers don't lie.
- There are more Black babies aborted in the city of New York than are born alive. The number one killer of Black people isn't gun violence, but abortion.
- Suicide is the second leading cause for death among teens and young adults.
- And let's look at the opioid epidemic...In just two decades, drugs prescribed by doctors to alleviate pain, were abused, thanks to over prescription and illegally manufacturing...
- Other drugs and sex-trafficking, (21st century slavery), are multibillion, if not trillion dollar industries...
- Alcohol once illegal but legalized, didn't help the economy but destroyed families... now add to this legalized marijuana - both are deemed "essential"...
- Legalized gambling that generates billions of dollars was supposed to help our fledgling schools and now with legalized marijuana... for the same reason - to help education/schools... Go figure... One has to wonder, what are we really teaching?... and I don't necessarily mean the teachers - I mean the powers that be...
Adam and Eve had all that they ever needed in Father God... But, the enemy of mankind gave us his perspective, which was and still is anti-God... I cringe at the thought of what goes on in the mind,... the perspective... of a man or woman, who thinks that God's way is wrong...
Our standard used to be the Bible - God's Word! But then people began to think that they didn't have enough with God, so they went after more, something very different... Their perspective changed... So as their presumed power grew... and the hunger for just a little bit more, became the mantra...
It's sin.
Let me make myself perfectly clear... If that's possible... (I think I use too many words and ramble on too long...)
I sin everyday.
I try not to, but I wake up and eventually walk out of my apartment. I encounter people. Most people make me react, (positively and negatively), and sometimes in my nonreactive state, I sin then, as well - because I do not have a care for them - I am indifferent to their plight, (the beggar that I pass on Broadway at Argyle - he sneers at me often...). Sometimes, even if I don't encounter people I think of people I know and therefore have sin-filled thoughts... (Some of you are laughing at me... You would not if you knew my thoughts and were honest about your own thoughts and actions). It's sin, folks. Especially, if you hold to the standard - the PERSPECTIVE of God's Words...Which in part is the problem... because too many of us people, do not have nor do we want to use the standard that God laid out for us...
... So, we sin... everyday.
In the Old Testament - the Torah; God gave Ten Commandments. Judaism now has 613 laws... Lord have mercy... In the New Testament, Jesus - a Jew, by the way, (I think too many folks forget this and are weirdly anti-semitic; Christian too - just my perspective folks), ...summed up the commands with one... "Love your neighbor as yourself".
Boom!
We suppose that our perspective is the right one, when we don't want to use a just standard - Jesus' standard.
LOOK at the world today... What and/or how many standards can you count? Even among those that are supposed to be inclusive - they war among themselves. Look at the various fractions among Christians and let's go to the opposite end and look at the other side of the fence, (and I tread very lightly here - I don't know why I do...), and they too war among themselves - least they be called something that they don't identify as... Human.
Normally, I don't speak for everyone, but WE are, ...so confused folks... all because we have bought into the enemies perspective... We have removed God so far out of our small, tiny, universes and we have tried to become our own gods... and we have messed up so many folks...
Sigh! A very heavy large sobbing SIGH!
I get it... It's not easy loving folks that don't see things your way...
Tell that one to Father God, ...but He does anyway - because you still have breathe and He yet has hope and He knows your future!
2020
An opportunity to SEE things differently - not our way, but Father God's way...
We have tried our way for so long... (Since the Garden, folks). Do you see it working well anywhere? Be honest! Even newborn babies cry, most time out of need, and the inability to communicate, but they are saying loud and clear through their cries - attend to ME, NOW! - I AM THE CENTER OF your universe! And I love babies - I have six of them, (adults now), and soon to be three grand babies. My fondest memories are when I was a stay-at-home-mom, (mother of many:-).
However, like I said, when I simply walk outside my door... I sin. I often react to people who are rude or thoughtless, (I pray they are unintentionally, thoughtless)... but thoughtless nonetheless; and their actions are hurtful and after the umpteenth time, I think something back, and call them anything but a child of God - in my head... Once in a blue moon - aloud... like "jerk! or worse"
In earnest, because of how I know I have the propensity to sin, I try to avoid people and will cross the street rather than engage a person, (see social distancing before it was en vogue - edited 5/19 in light of what has happened in our world in just 3 months since this writing) - especially one with a dog... I hate playing "jump the leash"... So it's not easy... because they aren't using Jesus' standard... They may not have had time to spend with the Father or even care to spend time with Father God and so... are thoughtless and uncaring and in their own world... focusing on their perspective of life.
Got a question:
Is it hard to be mind-filled of Jesus' standard when engaging the world?
With Jesus everything is possible... even seeing 2020 perfectly...
Till the very end.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Nina B
 |
| My classroom where I teach ceramics - my foretaste of Heaven. |
Sunday, November 3, 2019
Moving Forward at Anytime!
Moving Forward at Anytime!
By Nina B.
It helps sometimes for me to write my thoughts out and share them. I know, I am not alone and others don't write and don't share, but - reading my thoughts may make someone else's, more tangible to them... They've had them, but nailing them down was just out of reach... So, I write and share - for us both...
I used to think that the start of a new year was difficult... Then I thought holidays were just something that one had to get through - like a tepid shower when the hot water isn't hot enough... I've just passed another birthday - which I am grateful for - I have my health, I'm retired... I am in the stage of life that I used to, only imagine and never thought I'd be a participant.
I am blessed.
I have freedom like never before - with the exception of childhood...
...Then why do I kinda "feel" out of sorts?
(It is important to know I am of the mind that emotional feelings are not necessarily permanent - as in the case when someone feels like death... Feelings change like the wind in Chicago - blowing one way then another... Freezing cold in the mornings and balmy by noon)
It's all just complicated...
I have come to view life as a dance... and I have very limited dance moves. I can count the dances I've gone to on one hand. The dance moves I knew, don't quite flow well... At least not now and one might argue that they never really did. It's like hearing a familiar song and being out of step with the beat. My youngest son would say this has always been my norm - given that he has been described as having a near perfect ear. Once upon a time he used to say that, "...Jesus didn't want to hear me sing..." I laugh.
However, being able to recognize the beat of life and navigate the steps is not so easy when the music is constantly changing... With being out of step so much, it's easier to simply get off the dance floor.
Another birthday... the approaching holidays - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year... a child's wedding... Family and friends include me... But it all "feels" out of sorts, because the music is the same but I am different... I hear in the background old familiar tunes from past birthdays, other Thanksgivings, Christmas' and there are the things I used to do but don't do now because the beat is off -
The tragedy, (an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress...), the terrible, the traumatic the travesty, (a false, absurd, or distorted representation of something)-(this is an understatement), ...happened that caused the permanent
mis -
step
in life...
The beat that was so familiar became altered...
Hell...
...it was totally,bro
k e n,
and just L o
s t...
...more accurately abandoned...
So...
Moving ------------------------------> FORWARD....
Not stopping the dance because, (not simply because - there ain't nothing simple about tragedies)... However,...
I have life,
other moments,
breathe,
ideas,
dared to dream NEW dreams,
hopes, ....
I have...
..... a God who knows all that I've been through and invites me to, "Come dance with Him"!
My Lord gets it... that, what was old and familiar to me, is messed up and causes pain every single time I am faced with what was... You can start fresh and over with tons of stuff, but some others you can't, because it's usually someone else's stuff, (like the van that looks just like the one you used to own together, because Chevrolet didn't just make one...)... Sometimes it's people you knew from the other life. The stuff and most importantly the people aren't the problem - its the connection to the tragedy.
Here's an analogy:
Once a upon a time I had a very serious accident - one where time slowed down and I had two distinct choices in front of me... I won't bore you with the details, what's important is that every time I drove pass that area I remembered the accident... For a while, 30 plus years ago I avoided that area like the plague... but with the extension of the hand of grace... from God, I moved forward. I still remember the accident, the choices I had - life or death... Rear-end the older lady stopped in front of me or turn into the lane of the speeding truck... Both sounded bad, but only one was sure death...
What's important - I moved forward, (pun totally not intentional).
Presently, the decision to move forward is not always easy - or comfortable... or even popular with family and friends. Sometimes I do want to avoid people - all people. I just want to be alone... but I think if I were alone for too long, I'd become bitter.
Think on that for a bit - BITTER - like quinine: a bitter crystalline compound present in cinchona bark, used as a tonic and formerly as an antimalarial drug .... (To this day I do not know WHY my mother used to give me quinine tablets! A tonic of death! I was already a sickly child... and she thought this would help... God takes care of babies... and fools).
Still, sometimes when I'm out and about and I see people and/or I interact with them... I think it would be better for me and them if I just go back to my rock and hide and not move... but not moving causes stagnation -stop flowing, become stagnant, become trapped; become foul, become stale; fester, putrefy - which is all bad!
Yes, moving forward at anytime can be painful - up to your eyeballs... BUT, even at a snails pace... some stuff gets better or at its least - different... Sometimes just shifting your eyes from the ground that you continuously see - to look up, once in a while - changes your perspective - you look up!
What do you see?
Sometimes you sit and stagnate... aka pity yourself... lick your wounds...but please don't feast on them... You will only be successful in consuming you - and you will taste bitter!
In the shoes I walk in..., cuz I don't walk in your shoes - our lives are different - sometimes - I am stuck... but it's a place I surely don't want to live in, (I choose not to remain stuck), ...
The world as it is - is indeed a whole lot of bad, ugly, sin... and my stuff/sin added to it, just makes it worse - not at all better - remember bitter...
But, Father says come dance with me... follow My beat and together the music we make, will be Heavenly as we move forward... always
Soli Deo Gloria
Nina
Beethoven's Five Secrets - One Republic -The Piano Guys
By Nina B.
It helps sometimes for me to write my thoughts out and share them. I know, I am not alone and others don't write and don't share, but - reading my thoughts may make someone else's, more tangible to them... They've had them, but nailing them down was just out of reach... So, I write and share - for us both...
I used to think that the start of a new year was difficult... Then I thought holidays were just something that one had to get through - like a tepid shower when the hot water isn't hot enough... I've just passed another birthday - which I am grateful for - I have my health, I'm retired... I am in the stage of life that I used to, only imagine and never thought I'd be a participant.
I am blessed.
I have freedom like never before - with the exception of childhood...
...Then why do I kinda "feel" out of sorts?
(It is important to know I am of the mind that emotional feelings are not necessarily permanent - as in the case when someone feels like death... Feelings change like the wind in Chicago - blowing one way then another... Freezing cold in the mornings and balmy by noon)
It's all just complicated...
I have come to view life as a dance... and I have very limited dance moves. I can count the dances I've gone to on one hand. The dance moves I knew, don't quite flow well... At least not now and one might argue that they never really did. It's like hearing a familiar song and being out of step with the beat. My youngest son would say this has always been my norm - given that he has been described as having a near perfect ear. Once upon a time he used to say that, "...Jesus didn't want to hear me sing..." I laugh.
However, being able to recognize the beat of life and navigate the steps is not so easy when the music is constantly changing... With being out of step so much, it's easier to simply get off the dance floor.
Another birthday... the approaching holidays - Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year... a child's wedding... Family and friends include me... But it all "feels" out of sorts, because the music is the same but I am different... I hear in the background old familiar tunes from past birthdays, other Thanksgivings, Christmas' and there are the things I used to do but don't do now because the beat is off -
The tragedy, (an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress...), the terrible, the traumatic the travesty, (a false, absurd, or distorted representation of something)-(this is an understatement), ...happened that caused the permanent
mis -
step
in life...
The beat that was so familiar became altered...
Hell...
...it was totally,
and just L o
s t...
...more accurately abandoned...
So...
Moving ------------------------------> FORWARD....
I have life,
other moments,
breathe,
ideas,
dared to dream NEW dreams,
hopes, ....
I have...
..... a God who knows all that I've been through and invites me to, "Come dance with Him"!
My Lord gets it... that, what was old and familiar to me, is messed up and causes pain every single time I am faced with what was... You can start fresh and over with tons of stuff, but some others you can't, because it's usually someone else's stuff, (like the van that looks just like the one you used to own together, because Chevrolet didn't just make one...)... Sometimes it's people you knew from the other life. The stuff and most importantly the people aren't the problem - its the connection to the tragedy.
Here's an analogy:
Once a upon a time I had a very serious accident - one where time slowed down and I had two distinct choices in front of me... I won't bore you with the details, what's important is that every time I drove pass that area I remembered the accident... For a while, 30 plus years ago I avoided that area like the plague... but with the extension of the hand of grace... from God, I moved forward. I still remember the accident, the choices I had - life or death... Rear-end the older lady stopped in front of me or turn into the lane of the speeding truck... Both sounded bad, but only one was sure death...
What's important - I moved forward, (pun totally not intentional).
Presently, the decision to move forward is not always easy - or comfortable... or even popular with family and friends. Sometimes I do want to avoid people - all people. I just want to be alone... but I think if I were alone for too long, I'd become bitter.
Think on that for a bit - BITTER - like quinine: a bitter crystalline compound present in cinchona bark, used as a tonic and formerly as an antimalarial drug .... (To this day I do not know WHY my mother used to give me quinine tablets! A tonic of death! I was already a sickly child... and she thought this would help... God takes care of babies... and fools).
Still, sometimes when I'm out and about and I see people and/or I interact with them... I think it would be better for me and them if I just go back to my rock and hide and not move... but not moving causes stagnation -stop flowing, become stagnant, become trapped; become foul, become stale; fester, putrefy - which is all bad!
Yes, moving forward at anytime can be painful - up to your eyeballs... BUT, even at a snails pace... some stuff gets better or at its least - different... Sometimes just shifting your eyes from the ground that you continuously see - to look up, once in a while - changes your perspective - you look up!
What do you see?
Sometimes you sit and stagnate... aka pity yourself... lick your wounds...but please don't feast on them... You will only be successful in consuming you - and you will taste bitter!
In the shoes I walk in..., cuz I don't walk in your shoes - our lives are different - sometimes - I am stuck... but it's a place I surely don't want to live in, (I choose not to remain stuck), ...
The world as it is - is indeed a whole lot of bad, ugly, sin... and my stuff/sin added to it, just makes it worse - not at all better - remember bitter...
But, Father says come dance with me... follow My beat and together the music we make, will be Heavenly as we move forward... always
Soli Deo Gloria
Nina
Beethoven's Five Secrets - One Republic -The Piano Guys
Monday, September 2, 2019
It's Not Supposed to be This Way...
Speaking of school... God knows exactly how I learn...
My mother used to have an expression for people who were hard-headed learners, "... You don't believe fat meat is greasy... You need to see the grease running!" For some folks, seeing is believing just as experience is the best teacher... school of hard knocks... You just gotta love those turns of phrases - idioms... They are SO to the point, when you're not the brightest crayon in the box... Like using CAPITALS or ellipsis.... or italics or bold print - these tactics sometimes get your attention and make the point... Sometimes not.
I was somewhere in the mix of these thoughts...
I recall being eighteen, just barely on the cusp of being a young woman, (this was back in the 70's when being 18 was adulthood kinda, at least more so than now). I declared emphatically, I was never getting married and never having children... I did both... God knew I was not too dependent upon Him. I was the mistress of my own universe and I probably could have coined the term and foolishly believed, "I got this!" Folks have difficulty taking me now... They should be thanking God they didn't know me then and feel sorry for those who did... I foolishly believed, 'I knew it all'. Oh ....and I was right!
I know, typical for the age, however, still annoying.
....But it wasn't supposed to be "that way"... Not - my way...
It's not that I had so much of a pompous attitude - I didn't flaunt my greatness... I just didn't engage with people and had my world running like a fine tuned Swiss watch... Tick... tick... tick... The control thing was/is how I ruled the craziness in my world after being raped as a child and keeping the despectable madness under wraps til.... At 22, I abdicated my throne to my husband and submitted to his will, (usually without question, (what happened to that 18 year old with spunk? '... Love was blind, deaf, and dumb...'. Read the July 2016 posting - again!)).
...But it wasn't supposed to be this way either... Following something created... like me, something flawed...
It would have been 39 years as of August16, but; things went sour at a lightening speed at year 35 and then I was standing in divorce court on 11/23/2016, ...
Ah... the reasoning for this post... That jump from year 35... to the present... It's not supposed to be this way... Like the occasional burnt popcorn that you eat after microwaving a bag... It looks all good then you take a handful... then... you chew and taste... burnt popcorn... Agh!
Let me explain...
That spunky 18 year old, mistress of her universe - nope wasn't supposed to be... God the Father was listening ever so closely to me when I made my declaration and said to Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the angelic host... whoever was in earshot of His gasp when I spoke my words, "... No she didn't"... If God has a face... one eyebrow went down and the other up... His head was cocked slightly upward and that look of disbelief and shock was on His face; at the foolish utterances of His beloved child, (by the way... No. God was not shocked at what I said, but I want you to get His face... If he had one...). He continued, "... That girl needs a wake-up call... Get my lesson book... She does not believe fat meat is.... She need a lesson on a humble spirit... She needs to have a tiny bit of an understanding of what I go through - just for her... Especially since she thinks she's in control! Mistress?! - My foot!"
God speaking: "Not getting married... WRONG.... Married... Not gonna have children... WRONG again! She thinks five is a full quiver... Let's give her six, cuz 'she's got it all together' ... Right! NOT!"
God Sighs... " Okay... Enough... I think she's getting it... Her spirit is strong and intact and her will is broken... Her will is aligning with Mine... She's becoming usable... Her heart is more pliable. She sees that training, rearing, teaching children is way more than a juggling act... It's about the sacrifice and the resurrection. You can't be THE ONE and be in control and be all knowing when children have free will... Nina, you can't be god."
God speaking some more: "Beloved you can't see the future, the direction for the children I gave you... They are for you as much as you are for them... I planned this a long time ago...I know everyones direction... I know exactly how it's supposed to go... I know what it's going to take for you all to see Me! Even when it makes no sense to you..."
Me speaking: Cuz God has got this. I believe this, as sure as I know that, this world that we live in, is not supposed to be this way. I live in a sin-sick world. People, which I am one - mess up stuff ALL OF THE TIME! We mess up life even when it's not the intent... When it is the intent, it's selfish sin and evil or stupidity, not so much ignorance... Just think about it... Think about what you do... I know what I do and I admit it - I sin - everyday... not constantly, but throughout the day... It's embarrassing to me, because I say it loudly - I AM A CHRIST FOLLOWER! and not a very good one. Worst yet, it's heartbreaking to God as He reminds me, "Nina it's not supposed to be that way... I sent my Son, Jesus to pay the price for that sin...". I repent, I acknowledge the sin... eventually... say, I'm sorry and walk in His forgiveness... till the next time... (and He forgives every time - no matter how many times - I sin and repent...)
Which brings me to the other side of the coin... Life! This life... truly, isn't supposed to be this way. God had something else planned - then Eve listened to a "talking serpent" and thought she could be in charge, (that mistress of the universe thing, when it was a new thought!)... And Adam, abdicated his throne and said, "Ok dear - I'm here, right behind you..." And after sinning they thought the beautiful, perfect bodies God gave them; were shameful, (aside: This is when sensuality became sinful folks - right there in the Garden!). They thought, leaves that they pulled from a living plant; that would eventually wither and die; would do the job better than God's handiwork... (Like - what made them think that was gonna work? Momma used to say to me all of the time, when I did stupid stuff,... "Who told you to think?" Not that thinking is wrong, but what I thought was so wrong... Stupid! I guess she figured, someone out there in our neighborhood, must have told me what they thought and it sounded like a good idea to me, so I jumped on it!)
Heavy sigh!
It wasn't supposed to be this way...
And just as Adam and Eve's minds were cluttered with deceit and questions that lead to confusion - at the conversation and questions of the talking serpent... All they had to do was go to Father GOD and inquire... All they had to do was ask... Our minds today are over the top full of stuff that we try so hard to understand we scream, "I Got This!" Ad nauseam... and we don't! We don't even come close and like dear Adam and Eve,... we don't ask Father God... We don't talk to Him at all...
It's not supposed to be this way...
I get it...
Free will...
When we don't seek out God... When we've tried everything under the sun, to fix stuff, to make us happy... to achieve success... to be our own master and mistress of our universe... When we scream,... I did it my way... and it's still a mess... People!... before it's too late... TURN to GOD and let Him save you and love you and teach you,... answer your questions,... be your friend, ...be your Father,... be your God... be your everything, (cuz He's God and can). In Jesus' name...
Soli Deo Gloria
Nina
Thursday, July 11, 2019
I Must be Missing Something...
by Nina
I'm thinking I simplify life too much... However, given how very complicated life,... my life is, taking a lighter view; some may believe is a coping mechanism.
It is not.
Complicating ones life is the coping mechanism - the crutch.
Imploding/complicating our lives with stuff... needless stuff in an effort to enjoy life with all the padding of the stuff - all the while, the only thing someone might be successful in doing is avoiding the touch of life - the true experience of life... all because of it's cold, ugly harshness.
Sadly, in surrounding ourselves with stuff to avoid life, we also avoid...miss, the great things of life - the less is more, the common, the small... quiet that comes from simplifying.
Since my last posting at the turn of the new year, I've made some life changes.
I've moved and I've retired, kinda; both events have created a re-evaluation of self and stuff. I've had to purge - but this is good. Thank God for external hard drives - so the electronic purge really was more virtual... I yet have ALL of those lesson plans... and pictures of student artifacts, (but who really cares?)...And I had so much other tangible stuff that went off to the Salvation Army... I'm ashamed to admit... at least 5 car loads - I should have rented a van. How did I get so much stuff?
As with my first move that I blogged about - moving exposes who we are for all to see... Fortunately, this move was more planned than my first and not under duress. Still my routines changed as I had to fit into my new space. The bureau, where I used to put my keys and glasses when arriving home, is not close to the front door... so where are these important items going to go so I can find them? New routine. My old stuff, the stuff I kept, was sitting in a new space.
I had to shift... I had to simplify. I had to re-evaluate...
On top of purging old stuff I had to purge who I was...re-evaluate...re-define.
I will always be a daughter, mom, sister, aunt, cousin,... friend ... student, teacher, ... Roles change... I don't think I've purged these roles. They are a part of who I am... They are a part of the mix of the new me. But, change they do...
Wife of 36 years became ex-wife of 3 years and counting.
Teacher of nearly 19 years became retired teacher, now adjunct professor, (second time around).
Nina of 60 years became Nina, whatever the good Lord has for me... (this has always been).
Sadly, in my years of teaching and living life; I have seen folks, myself included, chasing after stuff that will validate who we are - the padding that makes us believe we are ok, we are good, we are more than enough, more than we think we actually are... When Jesus has been saying all along... "Only One thing is needful", ... Mary has chosen that which is most important...
One thing is needful - Jesus!
Simple!
Jesus is saying YOU are enough as you are... and I, (Jesus), am enough for you.
Too simple?
Scary simple.
It's scary simple because of the simplicity. We'd rather allow the world resound in our ears saying you need more, you must have more, you must be more... you are not enough...
Lies.
These lies create longings and most recently I've discovered - they create games that people play, so they can get more, (aka manipulation)... and leave you with less...
Aside: (A little secret - I am very naive - one would think I lived a cloistered life - I kinda did for nearly 50 years - I closed myself off from the world - didn't really engage... Stayed in the bubble... Read my postings it's all woven throughout each one, but God redeems everything - even burst bubbles and mends the brokenhearted).
People rather complicate life with unbelievable selfish games so that they have the illusion of having the most - the most that does not satisfy but only is successful in creating an insatiable longing for more and so complicating life...more...
It's cyclical.
Heck, I got off that treadmill.
Why don't you?
Simple is better.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Nina
I'm thinking I simplify life too much... However, given how very complicated life,... my life is, taking a lighter view; some may believe is a coping mechanism.
It is not.
Complicating ones life is the coping mechanism - the crutch.
Imploding/complicating our lives with stuff... needless stuff in an effort to enjoy life with all the padding of the stuff - all the while, the only thing someone might be successful in doing is avoiding the touch of life - the true experience of life... all because of it's cold, ugly harshness.
Sadly, in surrounding ourselves with stuff to avoid life, we also avoid...miss, the great things of life - the less is more, the common, the small... quiet that comes from simplifying.
Since my last posting at the turn of the new year, I've made some life changes.
I've moved and I've retired, kinda; both events have created a re-evaluation of self and stuff. I've had to purge - but this is good. Thank God for external hard drives - so the electronic purge really was more virtual... I yet have ALL of those lesson plans... and pictures of student artifacts, (but who really cares?)...And I had so much other tangible stuff that went off to the Salvation Army... I'm ashamed to admit... at least 5 car loads - I should have rented a van. How did I get so much stuff?
As with my first move that I blogged about - moving exposes who we are for all to see... Fortunately, this move was more planned than my first and not under duress. Still my routines changed as I had to fit into my new space. The bureau, where I used to put my keys and glasses when arriving home, is not close to the front door... so where are these important items going to go so I can find them? New routine. My old stuff, the stuff I kept, was sitting in a new space.
I had to shift... I had to simplify. I had to re-evaluate...
On top of purging old stuff I had to purge who I was...re-evaluate...re-define.
I will always be a daughter, mom, sister, aunt, cousin,... friend ... student, teacher, ... Roles change... I don't think I've purged these roles. They are a part of who I am... They are a part of the mix of the new me. But, change they do...
Wife of 36 years became ex-wife of 3 years and counting.
Teacher of nearly 19 years became retired teacher, now adjunct professor, (second time around).
Nina of 60 years became Nina, whatever the good Lord has for me... (this has always been).
Sadly, in my years of teaching and living life; I have seen folks, myself included, chasing after stuff that will validate who we are - the padding that makes us believe we are ok, we are good, we are more than enough, more than we think we actually are... When Jesus has been saying all along... "Only One thing is needful", ... Mary has chosen that which is most important...
One thing is needful - Jesus!
Simple!
Jesus is saying YOU are enough as you are... and I, (Jesus), am enough for you.
Too simple?
Scary simple.
It's scary simple because of the simplicity. We'd rather allow the world resound in our ears saying you need more, you must have more, you must be more... you are not enough...
Lies.
These lies create longings and most recently I've discovered - they create games that people play, so they can get more, (aka manipulation)... and leave you with less...
Aside: (A little secret - I am very naive - one would think I lived a cloistered life - I kinda did for nearly 50 years - I closed myself off from the world - didn't really engage... Stayed in the bubble... Read my postings it's all woven throughout each one, but God redeems everything - even burst bubbles and mends the brokenhearted).
People rather complicate life with unbelievable selfish games so that they have the illusion of having the most - the most that does not satisfy but only is successful in creating an insatiable longing for more and so complicating life...more...
It's cyclical.
Heck, I got off that treadmill.
Why don't you?
Simple is better.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Nina
Monday, December 31, 2018
Storms - 2019
Storms
By Nina B.
We are on the cusp of a New Year, 2019, and I am engaging in what some folks do on this day - washing anything and everything that is dirty. I do laundry regularly, of course, but it's just on the days leading up to the new year - I clean - kinda like Jewish women who "sweep their homes of "leavening" in preparation for Passover". I don't do this "clean sweep" for any superstitious reasons - I simply like entering the New Year with a "clean slate" as it were - Don't judge!
I'm sharing this insight into me... because, if you haven't noticed, I share many things with you. Just you.... :-) You're special!
It's rather easy to share with people I do not know. It's like starting up a heavy conversation with people on the train. We are very unlikely to meet and if we do... then you'll know all about me and I'll know nothing about you, so it will be your turn to share about yourself - how much fun will that be? :-)
I share my life because it's my testimony - evidence of my existence - a recounting of my story. Some of you are interested because some of you find it odd but true... You think..."She a Christian...one of those people.... Egad!" Some good folks out there in cyber land think because I am a Christian, life is supposed to be good... And it was,...
Once upon a time ...Before the fall...
Then life as it was supposed to be, went to hell, because of sin, but then...
...it was redeemed by Jesus,...
So... it's gonna get so much better - HEAVEN!
...But not so much this life... not now...
I'm sorry if you thought it was gonna be roses from here on out... If it is... Santa Claus isn't the reason for the season, sweetie... and that Easter Bunny - nothing to do with the death and resurrection of Jesus...
I've lost you?!
READ the BIBLE! Consider asking God to direct you. The New Testament Books of John, Romans, Hebrews, or Psalms from the Old Testament are all good starting points...
Just READ...
You'll be found. God hasn't lost you - you've lost yourself in so many other things, so many other ways...
So, give Jesus a try.
I'm just sayin'...
I digress...
The point of this quick post is because the other day when I was walking, it very grey and windy. I was so impressed with the visuals from God, that He reminded me,... it is during my storms that He is with me the most - holding tightly onto me, least I fall far, far... away. (He's with me 24/7, however, it is when I have need to cry out, "Abba, Father!" - that I recognize my need for Him, the most).
To say that I am thankful for my storms does not make me self deprecating. I do not make light of hard, harsh times. However, I have learned and have grown sufficiently in faith, while enveloped within my storms. I have been stretched in ways that sunny daze never touch upon - in fact sunny daze - as the word implies lulls and sometimes dulls the senses.
When times are sunny, fun, and bright - I know God is with me - He blesses me with a respite from the world. Otherwise, there is pain, heartache, and stress, and.... want and strife and conflict and so much more that turns my stomach sour and fills my brain with unspeakable crescendos of crashing waves... The storms...
However, Father does not leave me ever alone - His Spirit is with me. I am equipped for whatever storm that comes my way - not because of my doing/equipping myself - but God equipping me and never leaving me - because He thinks I can go it on my own - not for one second. HE knows I can't make it without Him...
You can't either!
Remember when you tried? Are you being stiff-necked again? Who are you fooling? Remember we haven't met, yet...
Storms are sure to happen. I think I wrote about this a while ago - Storms like tests, show us what we are and what we are not - because sadly, we lie to ourselves - all - of - the - time!
We suppose we are more - when we are not.
Remember, the time you said you were "brave"?
Remember what happened next?
Not brave!
...But you needed to be shown you were not, so you could be made into someone who is, for the sake of God's Kingdom. All in God's time... Hence, why some storms last so long... He knows how stubborn we are - how not ready we are... Remember, we are like sheep - not too bright!
Remember when you thought you had parenting 101 down?...Then your sweet little babies grew into spawns of satan! ... I mean teenagers... Oh, you say they're 2 and 4, (remember "little people - little problems... Big people - BIG PROBLEMS!")
And someone out there is thinking about the storms that happen to those who are totally unsuspecting, like the child who was abused... the mom who dies of cancer leaving, no dad, but three bewildered children, the gas station clerk shot for $53.75... A daughter... a son, abandoned by mom... Someone you know committing suicide... Being hassled at a store, because they thought you were going to take something. Being told by your employer that you must do something against your core beliefs... I can go on and on naming tragedy after tragedy...
Storms...
You can too...
...So can God... His only Son - being held responsible for everyone's sins...
Storms -
Jesus!
Simply, Jesus.
This is not a pat answer
- it's everything.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Nina
Equipped for 2019? Storms are brewing...
By Nina B.
I'm sharing this insight into me... because, if you haven't noticed, I share many things with you. Just you.... :-) You're special!
It's rather easy to share with people I do not know. It's like starting up a heavy conversation with people on the train. We are very unlikely to meet and if we do... then you'll know all about me and I'll know nothing about you, so it will be your turn to share about yourself - how much fun will that be? :-)
I share my life because it's my testimony - evidence of my existence - a recounting of my story. Some of you are interested because some of you find it odd but true... You think..."She a Christian...one of those people.... Egad!" Some good folks out there in cyber land think because I am a Christian, life is supposed to be good... And it was,...
Once upon a time ...Before the fall...
Then life as it was supposed to be, went to hell, because of sin, but then...
...it was redeemed by Jesus,...
So... it's gonna get so much better - HEAVEN!
...But not so much this life... not now...
I'm sorry if you thought it was gonna be roses from here on out... If it is... Santa Claus isn't the reason for the season, sweetie... and that Easter Bunny - nothing to do with the death and resurrection of Jesus...
I've lost you?!
READ the BIBLE! Consider asking God to direct you. The New Testament Books of John, Romans, Hebrews, or Psalms from the Old Testament are all good starting points...
Just READ...
You'll be found. God hasn't lost you - you've lost yourself in so many other things, so many other ways...
So, give Jesus a try.
I'm just sayin'...
I digress...
The point of this quick post is because the other day when I was walking, it very grey and windy. I was so impressed with the visuals from God, that He reminded me,... it is during my storms that He is with me the most - holding tightly onto me, least I fall far, far... away. (He's with me 24/7, however, it is when I have need to cry out, "Abba, Father!" - that I recognize my need for Him, the most). To say that I am thankful for my storms does not make me self deprecating. I do not make light of hard, harsh times. However, I have learned and have grown sufficiently in faith, while enveloped within my storms. I have been stretched in ways that sunny daze never touch upon - in fact sunny daze - as the word implies lulls and sometimes dulls the senses.
When times are sunny, fun, and bright - I know God is with me - He blesses me with a respite from the world. Otherwise, there is pain, heartache, and stress, and.... want and strife and conflict and so much more that turns my stomach sour and fills my brain with unspeakable crescendos of crashing waves... The storms...
 |
| These are two ducks equipped for the cold, icy lake |
You can't either!
Remember when you tried? Are you being stiff-necked again? Who are you fooling? Remember we haven't met, yet...
Storms are sure to happen. I think I wrote about this a while ago - Storms like tests, show us what we are and what we are not - because sadly, we lie to ourselves - all - of - the - time!
We suppose we are more - when we are not.
Remember, the time you said you were "brave"?
Remember what happened next?
Not brave!
...But you needed to be shown you were not, so you could be made into someone who is, for the sake of God's Kingdom. All in God's time... Hence, why some storms last so long... He knows how stubborn we are - how not ready we are... Remember, we are like sheep - not too bright!
Remember when you thought you had parenting 101 down?...Then your sweet little babies grew into spawns of satan! ... I mean teenagers... Oh, you say they're 2 and 4, (remember "little people - little problems... Big people - BIG PROBLEMS!")
And someone out there is thinking about the storms that happen to those who are totally unsuspecting, like the child who was abused... the mom who dies of cancer leaving, no dad, but three bewildered children, the gas station clerk shot for $53.75... A daughter... a son, abandoned by mom... Someone you know committing suicide... Being hassled at a store, because they thought you were going to take something. Being told by your employer that you must do something against your core beliefs... I can go on and on naming tragedy after tragedy... Storms...
You can too...
...So can God... His only Son - being held responsible for everyone's sins...
Storms -
Jesus!
Simply, Jesus.
This is not a pat answer
- it's everything.
Nina
Equipped for 2019? Storms are brewing...
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Steppin' Into Sixty and More...
Steppin' Into Sixty and More... and the End of the Year...
by Nina B.
I recently celebrated my sixtieth birthday... I look in the mirror and wonder who is that looking back at me...
But, really it matters little, arriving at this milestone gives perspective - a view from a determined point. Looking back, or around me now or even into the future, I know without a doubt that I am so blessed. There isn't a moment that I can ever say, 'my God dropped the ball'. Truly! ... And this is even through all the ugly, (see the posting from July 2016).
Being surrounded by family and friends is how God permeates the fiber of my soul and I experience His presence - not simply "feel it"...It's like floating in water - He supports me and it is effortlessly for Him but definitely not without cost.... because He is GOD!
I've had to "free up" some space on my cell phone because I fill it with pictures of sunrises and grandchildren, (not what I eat), and my thoughts and questions as I wait and/or ride the train, so I'll share with cyberspace and send this out into the world praying that it will not return void, because it is Soli Deo Gloria... so here it goes... some closing "thoughts" and questions for 2018:
This one was just today, (12/26/18):
Is it human nature to suppose, that people stay in the same boxes we perceive them to always be in? Do we not ever suppose - or imagine the potential - or is that something we only give lip service to and thus expect people to fail to live up to something more or something different - so we set OUR expectation low SO WE'RE not disappointed? Whatever happened to dreaming or hoping... Isn't this all apart of the HOW we should love one another? The sad part is that too many people settle on themselves as well. I have learned the hard way - that you can not make someone want more for themselves - you can only pray for them - at a safe distance - least you too - get pulled downward.
And now something crazy:
I live in a world where....
...we flavor Styrofoam cups and ripple the edges and call them "Veggie Chips"...
...Old men wear dark sunglasses on gray rainy Sunday mornings...
... If you listen through the noise - you can still hear the birds sing...
...Men would rather walk down ugly alleys, rather than pretty grassy pathways.... *
...Children are not people but seen as things to be used - like chairs.
Questions that people posed to me that I thought worth considering because God spoke them and now I'm posing them to you - yes, you! :
HOW do you value You?
What do you sacrifice to be who and what you are?
Why don't you allow your children free-will as God allows you?
Are you a stoic? A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining?
Why do you think you can atone for your sins and everybody else's - STOP trying to be perfect in an effort to compensate for sin, (you're not and God is and did)? It's OKAY to experience joy and love and FORGIVENESS - in fact it's what God desires most for you.
In September, I:
...Realized many people simply do not listen and/or they simply do not care and they have their own agenda and IT only matters!
In June, I...:
Realized... I am often thought of as less than I am -
People look at me and say, "You can't be sixty years old..." I can't have been an English professor or ceramics prof. I can't be a mom to six successful adults, (I still call them my babies)... I could not have adopted four of them. They say, I can't be telling the truth, when I've come out of my apartment by the lake on a 95 degree day to hear a former student do a poetry reading, downtown. I can't be a health conscious person - who researches what I eat and drink and take into this temple... I can't be a person who exercises...
Sadly, some people say, I can't be anything but an anomaly, (a health professional told me this once upon a time - I no longer visit with this person), so therefore I can't simply be.
It's a chore to weave the correct words, so that I am clearly understood and not leave any room for misinterpretation, that I am indeed me, and there is so much more that has gone into the making of me.
Sigh...
In truth, I'd much rather be doing something else, rather than weaving words so others can understand/know - me...
From Nelda a Wise Woman...:
"God leads you where He wants you to go [even if], nobody else is going" [but you and Him - so relax].
Reflections:
We see ourselves through the dust, grease, and grime that life spews on windows as they speed by - on the train -
all the way to the world outside my train ride.
It's not much better.
I watch my reflection.
I watch others and catch glimpses of them watching me.
They turn away quickly, as I do.
Both of us not understanding - there's nothing wrong in a look...
A meeting of two unconnected people fearing a connection.
How silly is that?
Beauty Queens:
Weathered beauty wrapped up in layers of cloth - old and dusty... One never knows who has sat in the seat where you chose to sit.
More Questions from Jan. 2018:
People matter.
It's hard to believe that was me nearly a year ago ...
Well I fought it tooth and nail, but, I did have "sessions"/therapy - aka - an objective sounding board - ten in total - in six months - I was told I had come a very long way in a short time - In truth, Jesus had been working me over in my desert for two years prior - I had done a lot of thinking - a lot of listening to HIM.
So this is where I am today at the conclusion of 2018:
1. Who are you?
by Nina B.
 |
| See, I'm not a cartoon! |
But, really it matters little, arriving at this milestone gives perspective - a view from a determined point. Looking back, or around me now or even into the future, I know without a doubt that I am so blessed. There isn't a moment that I can ever say, 'my God dropped the ball'. Truly! ... And this is even through all the ugly, (see the posting from July 2016).
Being surrounded by family and friends is how God permeates the fiber of my soul and I experience His presence - not simply "feel it"...It's like floating in water - He supports me and it is effortlessly for Him but definitely not without cost.... because He is GOD!
I've had to "free up" some space on my cell phone because I fill it with pictures of sunrises and grandchildren, (not what I eat), and my thoughts and questions as I wait and/or ride the train, so I'll share with cyberspace and send this out into the world praying that it will not return void, because it is Soli Deo Gloria... so here it goes... some closing "thoughts" and questions for 2018:
This one was just today, (12/26/18):
Is it human nature to suppose, that people stay in the same boxes we perceive them to always be in? Do we not ever suppose - or imagine the potential - or is that something we only give lip service to and thus expect people to fail to live up to something more or something different - so we set OUR expectation low SO WE'RE not disappointed? Whatever happened to dreaming or hoping... Isn't this all apart of the HOW we should love one another? The sad part is that too many people settle on themselves as well. I have learned the hard way - that you can not make someone want more for themselves - you can only pray for them - at a safe distance - least you too - get pulled downward.
And now something crazy:
I live in a world where....
...we flavor Styrofoam cups and ripple the edges and call them "Veggie Chips"...
...Old men wear dark sunglasses on gray rainy Sunday mornings...
... If you listen through the noise - you can still hear the birds sing...
...Men would rather walk down ugly alleys, rather than pretty grassy pathways.... *
...Children are not people but seen as things to be used - like chairs.
Questions that people posed to me that I thought worth considering because God spoke them and now I'm posing them to you - yes, you! :
HOW do you value You?
What do you sacrifice to be who and what you are?
Why don't you allow your children free-will as God allows you?
Are you a stoic? A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining?
Why do you think you can atone for your sins and everybody else's - STOP trying to be perfect in an effort to compensate for sin, (you're not and God is and did)? It's OKAY to experience joy and love and FORGIVENESS - in fact it's what God desires most for you.
In September, I:
...Realized many people simply do not listen and/or they simply do not care and they have their own agenda and IT only matters!
In June, I...:
Realized... I am often thought of as less than I am -
People look at me and say, "You can't be sixty years old..." I can't have been an English professor or ceramics prof. I can't be a mom to six successful adults, (I still call them my babies)... I could not have adopted four of them. They say, I can't be telling the truth, when I've come out of my apartment by the lake on a 95 degree day to hear a former student do a poetry reading, downtown. I can't be a health conscious person - who researches what I eat and drink and take into this temple... I can't be a person who exercises...
Sadly, some people say, I can't be anything but an anomaly, (a health professional told me this once upon a time - I no longer visit with this person), so therefore I can't simply be.
It's a chore to weave the correct words, so that I am clearly understood and not leave any room for misinterpretation, that I am indeed me, and there is so much more that has gone into the making of me.
Sigh...
In truth, I'd much rather be doing something else, rather than weaving words so others can understand/know - me...
From Nelda a Wise Woman...:
"God leads you where He wants you to go [even if], nobody else is going" [but you and Him - so relax].
Reflections:
We see ourselves through the dust, grease, and grime that life spews on windows as they speed by - on the train -
all the way to the world outside my train ride.
It's not much better.
I watch my reflection.
I watch others and catch glimpses of them watching me.
They turn away quickly, as I do.
Both of us not understanding - there's nothing wrong in a look...
A meeting of two unconnected people fearing a connection.
How silly is that?
Beauty Queens:
Weathered beauty wrapped up in layers of cloth - old and dusty... One never knows who has sat in the seat where you chose to sit.
More Questions from Jan. 2018:
- What was your prayer for tonight?
- What is a moment that you live in?
- Why do you suppose people hate you?
- Why do you believe in God after being so deeply hurt?
- If you were a picture book, what type of colors would be used?
- How have you been available to help a friend - emotionally?
- How have you extended yourself on any given day - or do you give no thought to others?
- Do you think of others?
- If nothing were asked of you in conversation, would you be content to just sit and say nothing?
- If you were asked to sing a song what would it be?
A Funny/Odd Thought JAN. 3 2018:
The thing that I thought I had, a home, children, and a husband was something that I didn’t really have it all.
It’s funny that I miss and long for something that was an allusion for so long.
This is why I feel so empty - I surely didn’t have what I thought I had. I had nothing.
It feels as if God has taken me all around the game board, just to bring me back to square one - to make me focus on what’s really the point of it all - The proverbial “IT”!
HIM.
In response to reading in Matthew 19:29 - The cost...
Is what we do, just merely passing time? All that we do, what we think “matters” - is it important? What importance is it really? What I do at work is indeed busywork. My interactions and my life outside of my job, I have always viewed this as being immensely more important than my job. My job is a calling, so I do it to the best of my ability and give it totally over to God to direct, so I do it for His glory, however, fortunately or unfortunately, my life outside of the calling, I do for my own pleasure sort of and too often direct myself and thus mess up royally.
Is what we do, just merely passing time? All that we do, what we think “matters” - is it important? What importance is it really? What I do at work is indeed busywork. My interactions and my life outside of my job, I have always viewed this as being immensely more important than my job. My job is a calling, so I do it to the best of my ability and give it totally over to God to direct, so I do it for His glory, however, fortunately or unfortunately, my life outside of the calling, I do for my own pleasure sort of and too often direct myself and thus mess up royally.
So, what direction shall I take this new year, [2018]? I would rather sit and curl up in a fetal position under a cone and simply wait life out... I am weary.
I have tax stuff to do, student learning objective data to compile, both of which are meaningless... Their completion makes no difference in anyone’s life...
One daughter sits in her home - too anxious to go outside, too broken from poor choices... so fear rules her life, but what difference is there with indifference? When it seems that very little matters especially ones next step?
People matter.
The problem is, most people haven’t read the BOOK and/or don’t believe in IT and so, care little about what others do as long as they get what they want and NOW!
The Dilemma:
Doing what matters for people who don’t care - only for themselves.
How did God/Jesus do it?
For me it’s like wading through a sea of indigo in an effort to accomplish a goal that is unknown. So do I do for me? When at this point - is an unknown... at least it’s not what I thought I was... because it was blown up due to circumstances totally out of my hands...
Sometimes I think about what if things didn’t blow up... what would I be doing?
Living in the dream - but not knowing it...
Where I presently am feels like an illusion. It still feels foreign - even after three years... The crazy thing I don’t know where I’d wake up and “find” myself. The only thing that has stayed the same is my job, family, (sort off), and friends, (some).
Seeing the state of the world depresses me - having little to no influence is also saddening.
WOW:
It's hard to believe that was me nearly a year ago ...
Well I fought it tooth and nail, but, I did have "sessions"/therapy - aka - an objective sounding board - ten in total - in six months - I was told I had come a very long way in a short time - In truth, Jesus had been working me over in my desert for two years prior - I had done a lot of thinking - a lot of listening to HIM.
So this is where I am today at the conclusion of 2018:
1. Who are you?
I was a woman consumed with the now, the order of everyone’s life...
I am, a woman with deep wounds that are healed... There are very few scabs that remain - they flake off and what is revealed is a healthy pink flesh that is soft because of its newness, however, stronger, more resilient than before - it’s tighter. They are, a stigmata. However, not an ugly reminder of the pain but a testament to that which was conquered - like a newly formed pearl.
I am more sure of what I want and recognize when others are selfish and therefore I do not run towards it - I simply turn and walk away.
I am pleased with my newness and no longer walk with my head down unless it’s bitter cold. I look most people in their eyes. I am GOLD to ME... :-)
I am pleased and look forward to silence - it is there, that I meet with God/Father, and He refreshes me... I feast on His Word and the simple gift of time.
I feel as if I have taken off the bandages-the false layers of expectations of others and my own mis-preconceived notions, (submissive), of who and what I’m supposed to be - when simply being a child of God is/was enough.
2. Where have you been?
I used to be so good with numbers and dates . This is no longer me. I am beginning to believe that flexibility and less rigidity is my present direction, (my new where. Conversely - rigidity and inflexibility being the old where) - being concerned more with the moment rather than focusing on the past, (however understanding its lessons), and how I arrived. The point is - I am now. The question for the now is - how am I to be - answer: Gloriously Present!
3. Where are you going?
I go wherever God directs... It is the future and Christ is already there, quietly anticipating, awaiting my arrival.
It is my desire to live in a “new true” state - focusing on what God would have me do, understanding that He has equipped me for such a time a this...
In the power of Christ I stand ... till He returns or calls me home... I will stand!
Last session 11/28/18 Six months
Wow!
The grace of God! Walking through the desert...
Final question: Define emotionally- "It’s okay, but not" - as it relates to my ex.
This means: Life is what it is - I’m angry at times, but I choose to move forward- not stew and allow the past nor the effects of the damage affect more than it naturally has.
I choose to live past it... through it... in spite of it. By the grace of God!🙋🏾👸🏾🏃🏾♀️👉🏾❤️ Loved
Tori Kelly - Never Alone
I know... a bit much, (I never set out on writing as much as I do - it's a lot like my art - I don't stop until God says stop - so... 3-4 hours later...), but like I've always said you don't have to read what I write/share, but I'm glad you have. I hope it's a blessing.
Here's to 2019 - Smiling!
Nina B
Soli Deo Gloria
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