Something Totally New - An Adventure, Journey, Mission in Real Time

As I make adjustments in the arrangement of boxes, baggage and furniture in an attempt to show some semblance of order, I’m writing about something totally new - about something that is happening in my real time - a move, a mission, a journey an adventure - all of the above. 

It’s odd, but not, as John 17:14 says, (paraphrased), “…we are to be in the world but not of it”. My short answer to this is: we live of course on planet Earth, with a variety of people who act, more often than not, contrary to the Word of God, so do not be like the people of the Earth - choose to be like our Heavenly Father. 

I am very much aware there are wars and rumors of wars at the top of the news list these daze, still, my focus is what is before me - a mission to go, even amid the constant sounds of sirens, people chattering as they walk pass my apartment to the schools at apposing ends of the street corners, a street sweeper machine sucking up wet debris and the loud beeping as they work in reverse, and if I zero in - eavesdrop on the details of the world outside my window - I may not complete my task, my focus, or live my life as I get pulled away… I am indeed surrounded by the world, but, for the moment, what is taking place outside my windows… and even the sounds of war and it’s effects are only what is broadcasted across the airwaves I do not partake in. 

Am I an ostrich with its head stuck in the sand? Not at all, but when the possibilities of any myriad of incidences that could potentially occur to anyone of us, at any given time - actually happens, we naturally desire the world to stop turning, change it’s focus to be on us, because of the catastrophic events and their effects upon our lives. Our lives have been upended - we cry... Still, the world doesn’t skip a beat. It does not stop, though we wish it would, because something awful has happened… We all must march on in the courses that are laid for each of us; some oblivious, some by preferred choice to ignore what is happening around us, because we are not of that happening… Be it in war torn countries, hidden cartel in rainforest, suburban tree lined streets, to bustling city neighborhoods where another soul dies during any given weekend from gun shootings… We must keep the focus. 

Surely, Jesus, the Son of God, kept His focus. From the day of our creation - He knew the endgame and so did not succumb to the worlds cries or woos - He was in the world but definitely not of the world, never partaking in it as the devil tempted… Jesus kept His focus on the cross, His shedding of His blood and dying for our sins, so we can attest with New Testament saints, He is Risen. He is Risen indeed. Hallelujah! Because He did.

That was a long opening statement just to point out - I am focused on what Father has placed in my heart. He has been working on it since before I was conceived. He had a plan for my life and it seems - it’s time for me to step out of the wilderness, (I’ve been posting about such in the past). And GO… like Abram in Genesis 12, when Father God, “…had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from they kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:..” Abram was 75 when he went on this Father God pre-planned excursion… 

I am nearly seventy years of age, and Father God has Genesis 12’ed me, of sorts. Could I say “no”? Jonah did and he ended up in the belly of a whale that spat, (aka vomited), him out on the shores of where he was supposed to be in the first place, looking really out of place, I imagine; and just fit to be tied. Think about it for a second, I’m sure someone has… Jonah, while I’m sure he was pleased he was not digested by the whale, …he probably didn’t give two cents about how he looked. He hated the Ninevites and believed they were going to perish because they were a wicked people, so what! He looked a mess and smelled, really badly. He didn’t care… He preached his heart out, telling them, they were going to die a worse death than what he had just come from… I digress. 

I’m not going to say “no” to Father God!  

I should say, early sometime during 2025, I began feeling like the servants who were given talents, (yearly wages - all at once, each servant according to his abilities), in Matthew 25:14-30. This is the parable of what the Kingdom of Heaven is like. While we cannot earn our way into Heaven, we do have opportunity to do -  show our love for Father God and so tell others our stories and what brought us to our mindset that we are children of God. Additionally, of course we get to do acts of service, because we can - not for gain. As a believer, whenever asked about “why do you believe as you do?” We should be ready with an answer. Not some rehearsed pat answer, but a thoughtful response from the heart. …And for the sake of clarification, in my opinion some believers approach the subject of GOD from such a high position, that inquiring minds - miss the boat entirely, as to what the believer is talking about. Simply answering why does one believe in God?, especially, when asked, should be a simple answer. “Father God loves me, He sees me and still loves me…”. Some believers forget to come and so speak as a child and simply give honor to God, who means everything to you… That’s all someone who believes really need ever do - The believer doesn’t make the a non-believer believe anyway - nor does Father God - believing is a choice…

Surveying all that has gone on before me… It’s a bit of a wild memoir to record everything that has happened to bring me to this point, but I don’t think I would be stepping out of my comfort zone to do a mission if something else were in the mixture, if there were different variables. Similarly to a recipe, if any of the ingredients were missing or something else was substituted; something else would be the end product. From being conceived out of wedlock - which really matters little to a baby, but back in the 50’s and prior to that time, meant shame, usually for the mom, so I was unplanned and unwanted, but Father God spoke to my mother and said this one shall live, because I have plans that she will accomplish. My mother undoubtedly heard the part - do not kill this one. She didn’t of course, and my life was certainly full of challenges and complications.

Ingredients for my life’s recipe were/are: spicy, distasteful, tears -lots, brokenness, some pleasantries, heart ache, separation, odd seasonings, shattered dreams, falls, missed opportunities, lies, more deception, horrors, more heart ache - it never went away - just dulled, loneliness, questions, tears in the shower, quiet moments, encouragement, cold hands, empty hands, gust of hurricane winds - out of nowhere, scraped knees, cessation of growth, stagnation, wake up calls, light, long walks, cupfuls of sighs…odd combinations, (nearly 70 years of life folks), but for the end product to be - everything was thrown into the mixing bowl of life, (and actually, is still being mixed…).

So, about a year ago, I started looking into kiln shops, because I wanted to get back into ceramics but I didn’t find anything that suited my purposes. I thought I needed to have my own space, but to have a kiln in an apartment is a huge ask and something not usually granted. So I thought, perhaps a small piece of property to the east of me -out of Illinois. I started researching small towns and found one that might work, but Father God clearly gave me an impression that east was not the direction and had me do a 180. To which I retorted, but I know no one out there, to which Father said, but you know Me and I Am everywhere… I could not argue. So, I started researching west of Illinois and found a town similar in size to the community I presently live.The difference, where I live the community is in a two mile radius, in the town I was exploring in North Dakota same number of people, but spread out among twenty miles. People are different when they have space to breathe. A good difference.

While in this twenty square mile town, I discovered a thriving art community and thought it would be great to offer art classes to calm the soul and bring peace, most importantly, share my Jesus. So hopelessly idyllic - makes me even smile at my innocence, at my age, but it also felt that I would be recreating something that was already there. I wanted to provide services for people who had none. 

So I left small town A for an even smaller town - B, (this latter town could fit within two blocks in Chicago, but again it’s spread out among 4-5 square miles instead of 2 blocks - S P A C E makes a difference folks…). Then about late summer, early fall of last year Father brought to mind an old dream P.L.A.C.E., my old dissertation focus for the Ph.D. I never went for, but went for the National Boards instead, (add regret and time waster to the recipe). PLACE was an acronym for People Linked Across Community for Education, but I had some new twist to this possibility… Once upon a time, I wanted to open a restaurant that would be pay as you can. I wanted to have a garden out back and so serve fresh sandwiches and salads in the summer and spring - and awesome desserts and soups and sandwiches in the fall and winter - an awesome desserts. I dreamt of my arts being on the walls, people eating food from dishes I made… A family like community of people… 

Well the twist was to have a gallery space to showcase art work of folks who attended open studio times. I’d teach art classes for inter-generational groups of about 8 folks and we’d come together even for sourdough bread making classes and camaraderie. I’d live on the premises and have a garden out back and I’d service folks looking for a creative outlet and space to thrive, breathe; to create calm and peace in this chaotic world. To share about my Jesus and what He has in store for us… I now had a vision as to what could be… and encouragement and words from many friends and strangers and decided to seek for a place and found one… A small tiny place with a dying “downtown” space and low numbers. I thought I had found the perfect location in the downtown of town B. The property seemed to be waiting for such a dreamer as myself. I wrote a GoFundMe proposal and traveled to actually see the possibility. 

… But not everyone shares dreams, or hopes, or visions or much of anything, nor sees endless possibilities…, because - remember - we all have choice! Though the property had been on the market, the seller had other thoughts - no dreams!

I was nearly devastated… By the evening of the second day of my arrival, foolishly believing I was what the seller was waiting for… True I felt foolish - to allow myself to be so hopeful. To take a leap of faith, because I believed I was to serve. The world is so cruel to fools like myself. Joni Mitchell’s Song “Both Sides Now” got stuck in my head as I lamented to God! I came because You said for me to come!… add ugly crying to the mix, (thank you niece-y)… But my beloved Father reminded me… Folks did the same thing to His Son, Jesus! He came to SAVE ALL of humanity and what did the world do? Crucified, my Jesus! All I did was leave Chicago… Jesus left HEAVEN! 

Ok! Thunks on the head are in that recipe too.

Three different people had mentioned about an art teacher position open at the high school and after the third comment about, I thought, perhaps this is the method by which Father desires me to be of service… and other opportunities had also began to poke through my gloom, … So, I began to widen my gaze and see other possibilities as well. As long as I can do art, provide art services and provide/create a S P A C E, and extend hospitality - I’d be sharing my talents and not hiding them as did the servant who had one talent - (things didn’t work out too well for him - read his story in Matthew 25)…

So I applied… The position was dropped, because the department was being dropped… but please don’t do that! Students of all ages need fine visual arts! It’s the creative outlet that is the release valve of life. Take avenues for creativity away and one is left with dull institutional grey and that’s a poor rabbit hole to venture down… So there are promises of future discussions once I arrive and become a resident of small town B that truly doesn’t have much in the way of visual fine arts. Father God pointed out having a home there begins the first task of hospitality… and of course, I could always teach sourdough bread making out of my home - not for gain of course, other than sharing the bread making experience, (I neglected to mention that I’ve been on a bread journey for about 3 years now and sourdough got added into the mix about two years ago - Such to the point - it is now a science to me, but so much fun…watch the bread making time on Chelsea’s Clippings on YouTube - so much fun). Home would still be the sanctuary - open to all whom Father sends my way and art classes are already happening. I was in town during Holy Week providing an art experience for youth and there is a promise of more to come at other venues throughout small town B - with such great endless possibilities…I’m just willing. One pastor on my previous journeys said because I’m willing to go - it makes me dangerous - in a good way - like, the enemy knows I’m in this for the endgame. To God be the Glory!

I would be remiss to not mention at this point the numerous people who I have met alone this entire journey, adventure, mission… my life! From family to the dear young and older people I’ve met on my train rides across this vast country. I write your names down on my prayer sheet and pray for you - bringing your cares and discussions with me to Father God. Your words of encouragement and wisdom are priceless. There are also those who have received words at just the right time and so obediently spoke to me, sent me texts and scriptures - that was Father God using you amazingly in the moment. You know who you are and I have told you of my discouragement, when I have looked at the wind, and what you said and sent was exactly, what I needed - How can that be? - but God. There are several of you who gave gifts only for the recognization of Father God’s words of saying well done thy good and faithful servant. You have partnered with me and made this endeavor a reality… I am overwhelmed with gratitude for ALL of you and of course gladly open my home to all whom Father sends who wish to visit me after May, (winters are fierce in North Dakota -but if you have a hankering to visit in the negative digits I will always receive you). To those who have come to pack, clean with me, be with me EVERYONE is indeed priceless to me. To those dear and beloved new friends - you are so precious already - going beyond the call, for me - a stranger from Chicago. I am humbled and feel cared for - you must meet your counter-parts when they come visit. 

You all know I have the gift of writing way too many words - it’s like the dense moisture in snow. It’s better in the snow rather the rain least it be a flood. (Thank you my farmer friends)… Should Father tarry, there will be more postings of what’s happening in small town B in North Dakota. :-) and how He’s weaving His words into the hearts of folks to get them to look up, because He’s coming soon…

Soli Deo Gloria,

Nina

Something Old for April - But a New Creation

Jeremiah 17: 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Jesus Christ IS risen indeed!

Hallelujah!

Jeremiah 17:9 is not a typical Passion Week nor Resurrection Sunday scripture…

The thief on the cross… The one that believed that Jesus was being unjustly crucified… The same thief that knew he had been justly accused and was receiving the consequences of his actions according to the Roman government. We don’t know this man’s name and sadly, he is usually identified only as the thief on the cross, but the one who believed in Jesus just before He died. 

This man’s conversion, can be considered a foxhole come-to-Jesus moment, as he himself was at death’s door. Still, no matter the time of his changed heart nor the length of time of his  “living for Jesus”… he died with Jesus and so lives with Him now and forever.

This man’s heart was indeed “desperately wicked” and he surely knew it and was utterly without hope,…

… but God.

In light of Jeremiah 17:9, I got to thinking about the “who can know it” part. Many live their lives thinking they are ok and many think even higher than just ok, but too often it isn’t until we are near the end of ourselves that we have the “come to Jesus moment” and see our life’s choices that have brought us to our miserable end. Sometimes, stubbornly, some still; would rather blame others for their bad selfish choices and so go to a miserable end… singing, “I did it my way!”

However, I’m still stuck on the “who can know” part, because there are people - I was one of them, who thought life was following rules - explicitly. I have confessed such, in past posting, that I am a rule follower. Tell me exactly what’s supposed to be done and I “getter done” with zeal - sounds a bit like the apostle Paul, when he was known as Saul. Father God dealt with him too… just as He has dealt with me.  

I see myself in so many folks in scripture… Eve, Tamar 2, Abram, Sarai, Moses, Ruth, Job,…today is Jeremiah, tomorrow, God knows. My point - I did everything that I thought I was supposed to do mainly as a child, (although, for the most part I submitted to the will of my mother to avoid punishment), then as a young adult in college, then as a married woman and then as a mother… Surprise! It did not work out as I thought. Why? Because the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked… and my little pretties many, (all over the world, in all walks of life, the lowly and the rich and famous, to the young and very old…), do not even know it. 

It’s not until we have the lightbulb moment - that reckoning, like the thief on the cross, (not that one must be physically dying at the time, however is, spiritually until…); who finally understood - it’s not the actions - the doing, but the HEART behind the actions and so, the LOVE OF CHRIST JESUS, IN the actions and it is by the grace of God that we can experience this LOVE. Look at the thief on the cross, …both of them. They did all that they wanted in their lives - like many people. I, like many people, contrary to the thieves, did a lot of what I thought was right, but I could never do enough right to be right with God, because of my heart. All of human creation has this sinful-heart issue - no one can escape this issue, pretend all you want… It will get you where the other thief chose at the very end - to die in his sin, paying the ultimate price for all eternity - in hell. 

Choices.

For those who think themselves right with God, because they do all the right things… I’ve heard it said, “standing in a garage once a week for an hour or two, doesn’t make you a car. Translated: attending church and checking that box and other “good works” doesn’t make you right with Father God if your heart is not submitted to HIM. Matthew 7:20-23 “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in Heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? And in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I [,Jesus] profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” These good church folks thought they were doing work for the Lord, but their hearts were far from God and so, deceitful - wicked… to the point of their own otherworldly demise. 

Just thinking: does one need to be near death like the thief on the cross, to own-up to the consequences of your choices, (of course, I would venture for query, are we not all terminal - dying?). Of course not, but through reading Father God’s Word, and prayer - seeking Father God earnestly and allowing Him to direct your path - which is scary, but exciting - I’ve learned to loosen my grip on my controls, (it’s taken a long time for me to do this), but there is a peace that comes that I can not explain - only to say -but God. I would even suppose that this peace is what the thief experienced as Jesus held onto his hand, Luke 23:43 “And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, today thou shalt be with Me in paradise”, (what an invitation!) Jesus was taking the thief’s hand… as He alone takes hold of those who willingly call on His name. We don’t take His hand - He takes ours - BIG difference. Jesus did the work - always and forever - semper et in aeternum  

Soli Deo Gloria

Nina    

Found lost marbles, 

while packing…

Something New for March - Time Marches On…

This posting is going to read as if I’m skipping around - but PLEASE stick with me because it’s all about the beautiful points of connections in the details that makes this posting.

Romans 8:28 “…and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”.   

“… the called…” are indeed a peculiar people. I think Father God chooses such because mankind is so arrogant in thinking less of those who are peculiar. The arrogant presume they are better, prettier, smarter, just more… than you. They say, “Father God simply would not call you…” I suppose they didn’t consider locust eating, camel-hair clothed, living in the wilderness, calling the Pharisees a brood of vipers - John the Baptist. Definitely called. Definitely peculiar.

Genesis 38 is the story of Tamar who was the daughter-in-law to Judah, eldest half brother to Joseph. 

For context - Genesis 37  -Joseph was the younger brother, that had ten half brothers that loathed him. Why? Because Joseph was highly favored of their father Jacob/Israel. Joseph, I think being young and not able to “read the room” as it were, shared his dreams that told of his being exalted among them. This fell like a lead balloon among his brethren and added fuel for the fodder of their hatred. 

Joseph was just, so peculiar. I feel sorry for him. He just didn’t understand his mere existence just rubbed some people the wrong way… But Father God had called him…

However, inserted into Joseph story we have a parallel story running a peculiar course for Tamar. There are some crazy details in her story. First Judah took a wife from the Canaanites - not God’s people. They had some wicked practices. Undoubtedly, Judah’s wife taught their sons these practices and so were equally wicked, but Tamar, wife to Judah’s first born son shared the customs and beliefs of Jacob/Israel and tried to do what was right…

Tamar’s first husband died because of his wickedness and she was without a son to maintain standing within the family, (this is my simplification of a complex tradition - remember I am not a scholar nor authority. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH). According to tradition the second son was to marry Tamar so that she would have a kinsmen redeemer, but he too was, self-serving, (lots of details here - read the account), and died before she conceived a son. So Judah being weary of this widow-maker, held back on his last son… Fast forward to Judah’s own wife dying and through unbelievable planning and conniving on dear Tamar’s part… (She had a secret understanding - I think she was inspired of God with major understanding and drive to be a set part of this up and coming nation of Jacob/Israel); she did finally conceive twins through the seed of Judah, (so, two non-blood related widowed people coming together to accomplish the deed). This was the only time Tamar had children and the only time Judah “knew” her, BUT she had her kinsman. 

Some would say Tamar was driven to have the children she did, but she did not know that she too would be in the lineage of Jesus Christ as a result of this definite peculiar desire. Tradition back then, did not value the worth of a childless woman. Barren women were looked down upon and ridiculed - read Hannah’s story, the mother of Samuel.

And here I’ll segue into the worth of those that are peculiar or better yet called to do something that to the glancing eye is odd, but in the end has life changing results for so many - i.e. Tamar’s story, Joseph’s story - continue to read about his peculiar gift of interpreting dreams and eventually saving the Egyptians and His dear half brothers. And most importantly let us not forget Jesus - Only One ever, to willing die - shed His blood for the sins of the entire world-MAJOR. 

I’m presently, reading Vaneetha Risner’s newest book “This Was Never The Plan”, (I rarely recommend reading material but will do so with her books). She writes about her journey through divorce. Because of tradition, Tamar did not have value or standing within her dead husbands family, because she did not have children by either sons of Judah. Similarly, people bear the worthlessness of divorce, as if the entire weight of the success of the marriage rested squarely upon our shoulders.

My very good friend gave me these words recently:

“My worth does not depend upon what others think of me, but my worth depends on what Jesus thinks of me!” 

Peculiar people - called, driven, - by God, however oddly determined, are purposefully accomplishing the work Father God has given them to do, what others think of them matters little, (it’s just background noise) - Father God’s approval is all that matters.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Nina

 

This is my incomplete, but soon to be a submission
for a possible mural project. I have about 2 feet to go

Something Old for February-Continued

 Something Old for Feb Continued…

In these crazy times why does it sound even more crazier to step out in faith and GO…

Has Father God stop calling His people to do things totally out of the ordinary? Was being called to serve just an Old Testament phenomenon? 

Father God called many people and prophets like Noah - Build an ark because there is a storm brooding - the earth needs a deep cleansing - Genesis 6 This was a 150 year project. People came out to see just what crazy thing dear old Noah and his sons were doing. There is no word in scripture of Noah’s doubt or bother with the jeers of his neighbors. He just did what Father God called him to do, even though it was totally unheard of… but, undoubtedly Noah never went back or against Father God. His family went along with their patriarch, Noah, and assisted to the best of their abilities. 

Then eventually, there was dear Abram and Sarai in just six chapters later, “ Get thee out of thy country and from thy kindred and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee…” GO! Leave everyone that looks and acts in a manner, like you… Leave your father’s household and GO - somewhere that only I can will show you when you get there and I, Father God, will bless you and you will be a blessing… BUT you must GO and leave your known history…

…And later, that promised son that I gave you in your old age and to your barren wife… The one you named “Laughter”… The one you love…Sacrifice him - Genesis 22. Abraham did not tarry. He got going the next morning to commit the deed unto the Lord… Abraham had a three day journey to Moriah and then he saw “the place” and he said to the two young servants who accompanied them, “Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.” Abraham had faith that the God he served would provide somehow even in his angst and God did! 

Fast forward to Exodus 2 - Moses - a murderer and fugitive… told to return to Egypt and have a chat about freeing his people who were enslaved to Pharaoh… 

Oh, and let’s not forget about Moses’ mother… Put your beautiful baby boy, three months old; in a basket and set him afloat down the River Nile. Pharaoh’s daughter will become his adoptive mom and you will nurse him still until it’s time for him to go into Pharaoh’s household… but Moses’ mom was not privy to this when she set him afloat. I suppose watching him float away to an unknown death was better than the sure death by Pharaoh’s guards killing the Jewish baby boys.

Elijah in 1 Kings 15, (I know I’m skipping a lot…), had food delivered to him by ravens. The ravens were the delivery service - not the meal and oddly these were considered unclean. Hmmm?

Ezekiel laid on one side to sleep for over a year and when his wife died God told him not to mourn openly, and lastly he baked bread in cow dung! 

Isaiah 20 talks about how he was called to walk about preaching for three years without clothes nor sandals on. 

I could go on and on pointing out the odd but true and crazy things Father God called people to do… even into the New Testament starting with Mary/Miriam - she was a virgin carrying the Son of God… and her betrothed did not have her stoned nor divorce her but married her and cared for her until her time had come… Then he got to be a adoptive dad of sorts to Jesus -Son of God. The perfect child - submissive to His Father God.

So, to my question: does Father God yet call people to do Kingdom work? Of course, we have pastors, teachers and church workers, missionaries, but what about the rest of us - Jane and Joe Schmo? Does Father God yet call us  to do outlandish treks and things, for His Kingdom? 

Jesus as fully man was called to take on the sins of the entire world. To shed His blood, taking our punishment for our sins - not His, He was sinless - as in perfect. He bleed and died and rose again- Hallelujah- defeating death and the devil and giving everyone the freedom to choose eternal life. To choose Father God’s love. From the foundation of the world Jesus, Son of God; knew this is what it would take and He created us anyway and so went willingly to the cross… Perfect Love.

So… What of us? 

What of me?

Father God has given me talents that He has honed in my wilderness, and now I feel called to be of service, which means leaving my home and family; to a create a sanctuary space where art and bread making happens. It sounds so insane to me. Like I’m the player of pickleball, a walker of the parks and lakefront and neighborhoods. I’m the baker of sourdough bread and sharer of the fruits on my labors. I’m the quilter of lap quilts and pillows for grandchildren… I’m an old lady with an empty nest and quiet days and nights… Father, You would call me? I am just dust… As I used to tell my mother - I thought of myself as only good enough for the garbage… I know -odd child back then too.

But Father sees so much more than I ever will and He lovingly and patiently says I am created for such a time as this, for His purposes, for His Kingdom work… for a specific people He’s sending me to… 

This is a major step in faith for me - I the OCD queen of control. I anticipate the need. I try to control and plan  for everything. I don’t go blindly, but I do have Father’s eyes and His presence going before me and He alone will do whatever is needful for His glory. For His Kingdom, For His children who yet are still being called to Him, all  because of HIS love.

Mind blowing.

Nina

Soli Deo Gloria

It’s not by sight, says Father God, it’s by faith 

Taken as I rode the train in fog

Something New for Feb - Paths

 

PATHS: 

The choices we choose… Most times we have at least one or multiple choices - paths… Everyone either gets to take a step towards some direction or sadly, in some cases, people are making choices for you, (these people either care for you or they do not). 

I made these snow tracks on a Tuesday after a mild snowfall,… then I thought I’d follow the same path on Thursday… Just two days later… But other folks were also out in the snow…and  what I thought was going to be a simple path to follow, (Tuesday’s destination - to the tree across the field), became a multiple of choices… A plethora of choices. I thought I was following Tuesday’s path, but 

then …. I was veering away from where my eyes were set…and not my path, not the right direction… not my snow tracks towards the tree across the field… at least I don’t think those were mine…

MORE PATHS: 

Every time I jump on the train to ride the rails from points A to F and all the incidental points in between, I anticipate a journey - points of connections - a path that allows for information to flow. In short, I’m expecting, in fact I totally anticipate to learn something from people who happen to sit next to me and/or those I encounter at my destination, of course this exchange is multi-directional... Literally, like my footprints in the snow. The flow is both ways. At first, I start out alone and then others show up … then there are a myriad of possibilities. And prayerfully we all walk away with something even if it’s not to go that way, (this could be termed a negative positive)… but,

BACK TO THE SNOW PATH:

 I initially made tracks on Tuesday, then tried to follow the same path on Thursday, but then it became impossible… With so many paths, how could I tell which one was my own from just a couple of days earlier… How were all these people out in this crazy deep freeze of winter? I was one of those “people” - I like winter/ colder temperatures… But this posting is more about the people paths that I connected with… and not about footprints in the snow or the snow angels I made, although it is fun laying in the snow and waving my arms and fanning my legs… looking up at the sky… It just feels so child-like. People who seem to me - who are questionable… - walk the wide circle around me, (like I’m the questionable one) - when I make angels… but at this stage of life, I care little for what folks think of me… but I digress.

PATHS THAT LEAD TO PEOPLE CONNECTIONS & PURPOSE:

On one train trip I met a young man who claimed to be a “mushroom entrepreneur” -as he called it… He was young, barely 21 and got stuck sitting next to me, the proverbial old lady… I talked about my Jesus, of course; whom he said he knew. He listened respectfully and chatted about his mother who owned her own convenience store…then he fell off to sleep, jarred himself awake as he coughed uncontrollably. A man with a coolie hat offered him water, which helped immensely… I did not invest in his business venture, but promised to pray for him. 

There was a church that I visited during one destination stop. I arrived early… when the sound team was setting up and singers were on stage practicing…  I had spoken to the sound team when I entered and asked if I could sit… I saw the pastor, (I had done my research on the church prior to attending, so I saw pictures of their leadership - wives too). He came from the front of the church. He saw me, but continued his business walking pass me … I was the only one sitting in the sanctuary. After about 30 minutes or so, an elder came and said hello… I mentioned that he was the first person to speak to me even though, by then at least a dozen or so folks were milling around, including the pastor… He explained that undoubtedly the pastor had his mind on the business of the baptisms scheduled for that morning… As the sanctuary filled to capacity a young mom and her daughter sat by me… The little girls voice sounded angelic and I said so, to the mom who was very grateful for the complement…I was blessed by the little girl’s heart to sing praises to Father God. It was indeed a sweet moment… After baptisms, there were baby dedications and communion… but no sermon - at all. I had the opportunity to question this missing element at the end of the “service” because the pastor came over to me to shake my hand… before I even left my seat. He seemed surprised at the question, but invited me to fellowship on coffee and doughnuts. I thanked him and left… shaking the dust off my feet…

On a more recent trip I met another young man of 18 who was invited to take pictures of an awards celebration for a friend. His mother had moved he and his sister away from the ills of Chicago for their safety and so lived in a quiet little town away from the state of Illinois. He and I chatted about Jesus…Whom he did not believe in…which is not my goal to convenience him to do otherwise. I can not change hearts, but I can and did shared my most recent revelation about how Jesus the Son of God was present and quite active at “the beginning” of creation …and being God - Jesus knew He’d have to die for the human creatures He was creating… The young man asked “why would Jesus do such a thing - knowing He’d have to give His life?”… I answered “because of love”. To help him understand, I asked if his mom thought of doing away with him because he had done something wrong… Of course not was his response… Then the lightbulb went on… We chatted a bit more… I offered him some bread, cheese and water…It was his first train trip… The conductor had told him to sit next to me… It’s funny how these paths - these points of connection are forged… This young man was also added to my prayer list…

Next there was an older woman - six years older than myself. She had a word for me. “You’re still young… just a baby… and God’s not done with you yet!”  She listened intently as I talked a little about my life and that I was in the stage of just seeking Father God’s direction… It was clear that I had been given gifts… I am most joy-filled when creating things, be it art for the eye or something for the hand to touch or for the tongue to taste… This older sister in the Lord was an encouragement - “Just get out and do it! You can’t, not act, when God tells you to GO and DO!” So, a good word…

Then there was the young man in Portland, Oregon… I’m always amazed how Father sends a soul out for just one… Like a starfish being thrown back into the water that was washed upon the shore… That one gets to live… Portland had some scary characters… Of which, this young man was a bit intimidating - looking like Lou Phillips the actor from “La Bamba”, (which was a movie about Ritchie Valens). He had tattoos all over… and he just looked like he was casing the station… I was too, as I sat with my back up against the wall encased with my belongings… Watching everything and hearing everyone… Even the man who was challenging another man about how someone was looking at him as he ate his doughnut… I was just ready to pounce when necessary… Then the “La Bamba” young man moved to the restroom and God told me to get up and buy him some food! Really!?! 

Father God: REALLY! NOW! 

I did and as the young tattooed man passed me, I called him over… 

I sheepishly said, ‘this is for you.’ 

He asked “Why?” 

I said ‘Jesus told me to.’

He asked to give me a hug…as he received my offering. I do not hug strangers… I did this time… He handled me like I was glass menagerie - tenderly… Then he explained that he was just out of prison and that he was trying to do what was right… He asked to pray for me… Asking Father to protect me and keep me and to direct my path… I was dumbfounded - easy thing to do… All I could say was that, ‘Father sees him and I’d be praying for him too’. He left the station praising God - unashamedly. 

Another destination stop I had a chance to chat very briefly with a guest pastor, (not the same church as before - actually, this one was recommended by the Airbnb host and was within walking distance of the Airbnb)… It was the first Sunday of the New Year. The guest pastor declared with laughter that I was “dangerous to the enemy” - given that I was willing to go wherever Father directed and be used. He offered his blessing and prayers. 

Then there was a young woman, 23. We spoke about families and similar issues we had both experienced. She was a Hmong Christian and was able to recollect the generations of her family being Christian. She was most respectful and listened very intently… For such a young woman she was wise and discerning - desiring to do Father God’s will. I added her name to my prayer list as well. She was very kind and encouraging. The conductor had placed her next to me.

I had other path connections but this posting is already really long… what have I gleaned? A myriad of paths that overlap that are always moving somewhere… But, there is surely a path that is designated specifically for me that Father wants me to go upon and do… He has made it clear that my time in the wilderness is closing and that I’ve refined skills and talents that He’s given to me - to use for His Kingdom… I do art, teach and cook… pickleball is just for lots of belly laughter… It’s often a lesson in how not to take myself too serious - least I will be humbled… 

So I will journey soon to North Dakota…again. All that has gone before me - wilderness lessons, (I’m talking years before - decades even), has culminated into these moments now… Like all that, was prep work for what’s to come next… I’ve been shaped and broken and restored to do something more… “…of the dust of the ground…”

To be continued…

Soli Deo Gloria,

Nina 

Reflections

Something New for Jan 2026 - The Beginning, Restoration and so Continuance of a Journey: ”…of the dust of the ground…” Gen. 2:7

 A short sincere prayer:

Father God, in this journey - called life…, go before me as I desire to strive to soar towards Your Kingdom… bringing all that You give me to bring to You, that You placed and continually place before me… 

Father God, i am so incapable on my own… 

God make my path clear, however, at times it is surely difficult and/or unbearably challenging, however, arduous and frightening; Holy Spirit, You are always near… Never do you leave me… You walk with me. You are the breath I breathe… i am never alone - with You.

Father God - You are the Lifter of my feeble hands, of my weary eyes… of my slow steps forward… Father God, You delight in me, this sorry, sad child of Yours… You alone love me so much, that You could not bear to have Heaven without me…

Lord God, I ask that which You already know… Show me… 

… Your beloved servant, that You knew before my time… as I was formed in my mother’s womb, as You laid the foundations of the Earth… Lord Jesus… You knew, before all time…. which way I should go. 

I will willingly go, …only in Your strength … just direct my steps and You walk with me, open my mouth and You speak…

Always and forever, Soli Deo Gloria

Nina