I want to make it clear - I am dust. No one of any consequence. I started sharing my ideas, reactions, hopes and dreams - strictly out of obedience to Father God - whom I’m in a fairly regular line of communication/prayer…and He doesn’t grow weary of my chatter - I think this is amazing. I am not an authority on too much of anything. While I do hold degrees… In hindsight - I think they were vain pursuits. Yes, I was able to have employment but I’m now of the mind if people pour themselves into their passions and so hone skills - they can surely share that knowledge without years wasted on producing papers that professors rarely read for degrees that no one really cares about. They could be acquiring skills - practicing… My case in point - medicine is yet a practice! Such a medical professional told me of my health that I was an anomaly - however honest - not the nicest bedside manner and admittance of cluelessness...
Why do I write and scatter my words to the cyber winds - because Father God carries them to whom He so wills, for His purposes. I am in awe that anyone reads what I write - My prayer is that it is fodder for thought, an impetus to make someone move in a direction - even if it is to make someone s t o p and consider their present direction…
I am really no one in particular - perhaps no different than the person standing near you waiting for the bus to arrive… looking up at the clouds in the sky… Or the one walking in front of you reaching for the ends of the grasses that sway in the wind or are just wet with the morning dew… Speak to them - they may be waiting to share a thought for the day… just because something neat popped into their head.
It is the complications of my life that keep me up at night… Sometimes I’m working out a design problem or waiting on inspiration from Father God and I put the cart before the horse and… complications start churning… But design problems are minor in comparison to complications that involve other people. I can’t live other people’s lives, (in truth I don’t want to live extra lives - that’s a bit on the psychotic side)… So the worry of the complications I believe will surely manifest on the horizon, are just the things that keep me up at night… As if Father God does not have it ALL under His control. He’s God. I am not. It’s crazy that I do not rest without this worry. I do sleep, but sometimes… I wake & worry, (warring cousins)… and so I call out Jesus’ name and eventually, fall back into slumber… You do know there is such power in just Jesus’ name, (not magic - but authoritative supreme power). Remember it’s hallowed - not to be taken lightly.
Still, I am reminded too often of my Lord saying, most lovingly to Martha, “Dear sister Martha - you do the most…When only one thing is needful and dear sister Mary, (I suppose her to be the younger sister), [oddly] chooses what is right…”. God knows she chose so poorly before, but maybe that’s what makes her sense of sight - so keen, so tuned into the Lord - her Lord - Jesus… Un-complicate your life from stuff and people and stop chasing after that which can not satisfy nor give you Life…
Jesus only gives life - the un-complicated - abundant life - and it is good.
Think for a minute about what is the abundant life that Jesus offers - and consider how un-complicated that abundant life is… Abundance doesn’t necessarily equate to lots of unnecessary stuff - surely not with the Lord… I’m just thinking out loud, because abundance does mean more - a lot of more… BUT, coming from the Lord it’s not a complicated -more - it’s good.
I can not manage other people, but yet I busy myself with so much worry for those whom I have absolutely - no power over - other people, (no one wants to be inside my head and hear the conversations about those other people - whom I love dearly, by the way)… Father God does not have power over the hearts of mankind… We all have free will. For some of us - like Martha we care too much for other people, (perhaps for the wrong reasons, i.e., people pleasing). The motivation is off. We think we’re helping - we want to make everything perfect. We think it may put us in a better light. We think so little of ourselves that surely, we must - are compelled to do - the most, because… we are so messed up that we have to show ourselves better than what folks think, (read this next sentence slowly) - even though we imagine it all… People really care so much less about who and what we are - than we think. In other words - they are NOT thinking about you! Really. (…And if this is your motivation for doing - think again). Sometimes, we think we can save the world - we have just the right formula, just the right food, just the right words, just the right presentation to share… anything - we can get it and help everyone… I can’t. You can’t. Even IF we all work together - we still can’t. Only…
…Jesus does that - saves the world.
This is not to say, people should not do kindness - but when you’re trapped thinking that everything hinges on you and your actions… there is a problem. There are complications.
If only I literally and figuratively - Let go and Let God - decades ago! I know it’s an old once upon a time overused cliché… But it’s so true. As I review my own life and look back over the lives of the folks on my prayer list… I can see so many -shoulda done-s and what ifs… And of course, let’s review scripture: What if the children of Israel chose Jesus as their Messiah… What if Sarah never suggested that Abraham use poor Hagar as a surrogate wife… What if the children of Israel believed Caleb and Joshua when they spied out Canaan, the Promised Land… What if Joseph was never sold into slavery…What if dear mother Eve and father Adam stood their ground against the serpent …
Playing the game of re-writing history doesn’t make it true. Re-writing what didn’t happen makes a lie and so makes more problems/complications to solve and work through. While the truth may be difficult to live with - accepting the truth is necessary for un-complicating life… I think it has the potential to force the issue/question - what does one do to move on?
Choices
Continue to work harder to build the wall to keep everyone out that does not think like you - like controlling the temperature to keep life the same. No deviations. One wears blinders all of the time.
OR…
Live in reality and accept the truth and move on. Let Father God have the controller. The latter is scary, but loosens the burden, the weight, the complications… It’s a faith step. One has to be willing to relinquish the comfort of the old guard - that feast on yourself… It hurts. It surely is not tasty - in fact it’s very bitter and so unfulfilling… and you have to listen to another Voice - Father God’s Voice that is quiet and calm and sure.
So much complicated brokenness, but not beyond Father God.
Soli Deo Gloria,
Nina
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