As I make adjustments in the arrangement of boxes, baggage and furniture in an attempt to show some semblance of order, I’m writing about something totally new - about something that is happening in my real time - a move, a mission, a journey an adventure - all of the above.
It’s odd, but not, as John 17:14 says, (paraphrased), “…we are to be in the world but not of it”. My short answer to this is: we live of course on planet Earth, with a variety of people who act, more often than not, contrary to the Word of God, so do not be like the people of the Earth - choose to be like our Heavenly Father.
I am very much aware there are wars and rumors of wars at the top of the news list these daze, still, my focus is what is before me - a mission to go, even amid the constant sounds of sirens, people chattering as they walk pass my apartment to the schools at apposing ends of the street corners, a street sweeper machine sucking up wet debris and the loud beeping as they work in reverse, and if I zero in - eavesdrop on the details of the world outside my window - I may not complete my task, my focus, or live my life as I get pulled away… I am indeed surrounded by the world, but, for the moment, what is taking place outside my windows… and even the sounds of war and it’s effects are only what is broadcasted across the airwaves I do not partake in.
Am I an ostrich with its head stuck in the sand? Not at all, but when the possibilities of any myriad of incidences that could potentially occur to anyone of us, at any given time - actually happens, we naturally desire the world to stop turning, change it’s focus to be on us, because of the catastrophic events and their effects upon our lives. Our lives have been upended - we cry... Still, the world doesn’t skip a beat. It does not stop, though we wish it would, because something awful has happened… We all must march on in the courses that are laid for each of us; some oblivious, some by preferred choice to ignore what is happening around us, because we are not of that happening… Be it in war torn countries, hidden cartel in rainforest, suburban tree lined streets, to bustling city neighborhoods where another soul dies during any given weekend from gun shootings… We must keep the focus.
Surely, Jesus, the Son of God, kept His focus. From the day of our creation - He knew the endgame and so did not succumb to the worlds cries or woos - He was in the world but definitely not of the world, never partaking in it as the devil tempted… Jesus kept His focus on the cross, His shedding of His blood and dying for our sins, so we can attest with New Testament saints, He is Risen. He is Risen indeed. Hallelujah! Because He did.
That was a long opening statement just to point out - I am focused on what Father has placed in my heart. He has been working on it since before I was conceived. He had a plan for my life and it seems - it’s time for me to step out of the wilderness, (I’ve been posting about such in the past). And GO… like Abram in Genesis 12, when Father God, “…had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from they kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:..” Abram was 75 when he went on this Father God pre-planned excursion…
I am nearly seventy years of age, and Father God has Genesis 12’ed me, of sorts. Could I say “no”? Jonah did and he ended up in the belly of a whale that spat, (aka vomited), him out on the shores of where he was supposed to be in the first place, looking really out of place, I imagine; and just fit to be tied. Think about it for a second, I’m sure someone has… Jonah, while I’m sure he was pleased he was not digested by the whale, …he probably didn’t give two cents about how he looked. He hated the Ninevites and believed they were going to perish because they were a wicked people, so what! He looked a mess and smelled, really badly. He didn’t care… He preached his heart out, telling them, they were going to die a worse death than what he had just come from… I digress.
I’m not going to say “no” to Father God!
I should say, early sometime during 2025, I began feeling like the servants who were given talents, (yearly wages - all at once, each servant according to his abilities), in Matthew 25:14-30. This is the parable of what the Kingdom of Heaven is like. While we cannot earn our way into Heaven, we do have opportunity to do - show our love for Father God and so tell others our stories and what brought us to our mindset that we are children of God. Additionally, of course we get to do acts of service, because we can - not for gain. As a believer, whenever asked about “why do you believe as you do?” We should be ready with an answer. Not some rehearsed pat answer, but a thoughtful response from the heart. …And for the sake of clarification, in my opinion some believers approach the subject of GOD from such a high position, that inquiring minds - miss the boat entirely, as to what the believer is talking about. Simply answering why does one believe in God?, especially, when asked, should be a simple answer. “Father God loves me, He sees me and still loves me…”. Some believers forget to come and so speak as a child and simply give honor to God, who means everything to you… That’s all someone who believes really need ever do - The believer doesn’t make the a non-believer believe anyway - nor does Father God - believing is a choice…
Surveying all that has gone on before me… It’s a bit of a wild memoir to record everything that has happened to bring me to this point, but I don’t think I would be stepping out of my comfort zone to do a mission if something else were in the mixture, if there were different variables. Similarly to a recipe, if any of the ingredients were missing or something else was substituted; something else would be the end product. From being conceived out of wedlock - which really matters little to a baby, but back in the 50’s and prior to that time, meant shame, usually for the mom, so I was unplanned and unwanted, but Father God spoke to my mother and said this one shall live, because I have plans that she will accomplish. My mother undoubtedly heard the part - do not kill this one. She didn’t of course, and my life was certainly full of challenges and complications.
Ingredients for my life’s recipe were/are: spicy, distasteful, tears -lots, brokenness, some pleasantries, heart ache, separation, odd seasonings, shattered dreams, falls, missed opportunities, lies, more deception, horrors, more heart ache - it never went away - just dulled, loneliness, questions, tears in the shower, quiet moments, encouragement, cold hands, empty hands, gust of hurricane winds - out of nowhere, scraped knees, cessation of growth, stagnation, wake up calls, light, long walks, cupfuls of sighs…odd combinations, (nearly 70 years of life folks), but for the end product to be - everything was thrown into the mixing bowl of life, (and actually, is still being mixed…).
So, about a year ago, I started looking into kiln shops, because I wanted to get back into ceramics but I didn’t find anything that suited my purposes. I thought I needed to have my own space, but to have a kiln in an apartment is a huge ask and something not usually granted. So I thought, perhaps a small piece of property to the east of me -out of Illinois. I started researching small towns and found one that might work, but Father God clearly gave me an impression that east was not the direction and had me do a 180. To which I retorted, but I know no one out there, to which Father said, but you know Me and I Am everywhere… I could not argue. So, I started researching west of Illinois and found a town similar in size to the community I presently live.The difference, where I live the community is in a two mile radius, in the town I was exploring in North Dakota same number of people, but spread out among twenty miles. People are different when they have space to breathe. A good difference.
While in this twenty square mile town, I discovered a thriving art community and thought it would be great to offer art classes to calm the soul and bring peace, most importantly, share my Jesus. So hopelessly idyllic - makes me even smile at my innocence, at my age, but it also felt that I would be recreating something that was already there. I wanted to provide services for people who had none.
So I left small town A for an even smaller town - B, (this latter town could fit within two blocks in Chicago, but again it’s spread out among 4-5 square miles instead of 2 blocks - S P A C E makes a difference folks…). Then about late summer, early fall of last year Father brought to mind an old dream P.L.A.C.E., my old dissertation focus for the Ph.D. I never went for, but went for the National Boards instead, (add regret and time waster to the recipe). PLACE was an acronym for People Linked Across Community for Education, but I had some new twist to this possibility… Once upon a time, I wanted to open a restaurant that would be pay as you can. I wanted to have a garden out back and so serve fresh sandwiches and salads in the summer and spring - and awesome desserts and soups and sandwiches in the fall and winter - an awesome desserts. I dreamt of my arts being on the walls, people eating food from dishes I made… A family like community of people…
Well the twist was to have a gallery space to showcase art work of folks who attended open studio times. I’d teach art classes for inter-generational groups of about 8 folks and we’d come together even for sourdough bread making classes and camaraderie. I’d live on the premises and have a garden out back and I’d service folks looking for a creative outlet and space to thrive, breathe; to create calm and peace in this chaotic world. To share about my Jesus and what He has in store for us… I now had a vision as to what could be… and encouragement and words from many friends and strangers and decided to seek for a place and found one… A small tiny place with a dying “downtown” space and low numbers. I thought I had found the perfect location in the downtown of town B. The property seemed to be waiting for such a dreamer as myself. I wrote a GoFundMe proposal and traveled to actually see the possibility.
… But not everyone shares dreams, or hopes, or visions or much of anything, nor sees endless possibilities…, because - remember - we all have choice! Though the property had been on the market, the seller had other thoughts - no dreams!
I was nearly devastated… By the evening of the second day of my arrival, foolishly believing I was what the seller was waiting for… True I felt foolish - to allow myself to be so hopeful. To take a leap of faith, because I believed I was to serve. The world is so cruel to fools like myself. Joni Mitchell’s Song “Both Sides Now” got stuck in my head as I lamented to God! I came because You said for me to come!… add ugly crying to the mix, (thank you niece-y)… But my beloved Father reminded me… Folks did the same thing to His Son, Jesus! He came to SAVE ALL of humanity and what did the world do? Crucified, my Jesus! All I did was leave Chicago… Jesus left HEAVEN!
Ok! Thunks on the head are in that recipe too.
Three different people had mentioned about an art teacher position open at the high school and after the third comment about, I thought, perhaps this is the method by which Father desires me to be of service… and other opportunities had also began to poke through my gloom, … So, I began to widen my gaze and see other possibilities as well. As long as I can do art, provide art services and provide/create a S P A C E, and extend hospitality - I’d be sharing my talents and not hiding them as did the servant who had one talent - (things didn’t work out too well for him - read his story in Matthew 25)…
I would be remiss to not mention at this point the numerous people who I have met alone this entire journey, adventure, mission… my life! From family to the dear young and older people I’ve met on my train rides across this vast country. I write your names down on my prayer sheet and pray for you - bringing your cares and discussions with me to Father God. Your words of encouragement and wisdom are priceless. There are also those who have received words at just the right time and so obediently spoke to me, sent me texts and scriptures - that was Father God using you amazingly in the moment. You know who you are and I have told you of my discouragement, when I have looked at the wind, and what you said and sent was exactly, what I needed - How can that be? - but God. There are several of you who gave gifts only for the recognization of Father God’s words of saying well done thy good and faithful servant. You have partnered with me and made this endeavor a reality… I am overwhelmed with gratitude for ALL of you and of course gladly open my home to all whom Father sends who wish to visit me after May, (winters are fierce in North Dakota -but if you have a hankering to visit in the negative digits I will always receive you). To those who have come to pack, clean with me, be with me EVERYONE is indeed priceless to me. To those dear and beloved new friends - you are so precious already - going beyond the call, for me - a stranger from Chicago. I am humbled and feel cared for - you must meet your counter-parts when they come visit.
You all know I have the gift of writing way too many words - it’s like the dense moisture in snow. It’s better in the snow rather the rain least it be a flood. (Thank you my farmer friends)… Should Father tarry, there will be more postings of what’s happening in small town B in North Dakota. :-) and how He’s weaving His words into the hearts of folks to get them to look up, because He’s coming soon…
Soli Deo Gloria,
Nina
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