Regrets

Regrets

By Nina B

Regrets are crippling.

They stop us dead in our tracks - from moving in any direction.

Think for a moment. It’s the time you should have said something… and in looking back you know the impact would have been life changing for you… for her… for him… and you didn’t say what was needed at just the right time… Instead there was silence

 

I have such regrets.

When I was a child - no longer. I was old enough to know right from wrong; but I was a brat and I said hurt-filled words that had no merit at all and I tried to justify them.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I asked questions of the wrong person… I trusted…

Can we regret trusting a person with something valuable - surely. When in hindsight you see that they did not hold the thing with the same value as you… There’s a Proverb about misguided - misplaced trust… I didn’t know it then… I was just a kid… for such a short time...

When my mother died; at her funeral I regret not playing a song for those who attended. It was a song that I always played for her when I stayed with her… It would have been comforting. I could have shared my Jesus and I didn’t.

I regret not standing to my feet in a show of encouragement at my son’s graduation - when he tried to give his graduation speech through anguished sobs. I thought I should go to his side, but that was not needed - but something was - standing to my feet and offering my applause… was it... but I didn’t think of it until days later - I wish I shoulda done…

There are tons of  things I shoulda done, but I don’t have those deep regrets until something sparks a memory, there is that shooting hot pang of pain, you get it when you've bent over too long over something and your back aches when you straighten... or that pain that hits my heart and makes my knees go weak, (I know, heart attack!). 

I relive the experiences all over again… You do too.

My children remind me of times gone by, that I didn’t do… I can remember too - sometimes,... ...of the times that I forgot, or I never showed up at the… or I showed up late… or I worked too late and … And let’s not even mention the words that were spoken or not…. While these too are regrettable - they are NOT regrets that make you stop and sigh, ‘cause some things just can’t be undone, forgotten... dropped to the floor of our minds because there’s just too many.

Perhaps, these special regrets are so regrettable because we don’t forgive ourselves.

We can look pass some regrets for whatever reason, that are minor incidentals/minor regrets. These are our background noises - murmurings that we compartmentalize/classify as kinda - unimportant. Then there are the things that make you want to crawl away… because you do remember.

The enemy wants you to remember all the time. he is whispering justifications for your pain and twist the knife in just a little bit deeper, you feel it don't you?

…. but remember

You are forgiven, (beautiful words)

...and that weight that buried you - you are resurrected! We don’t have to live in bondage to our own unforgive-ness. God knows we keep others in captivity when we don’t forgive and we do the same to ourselves, because we feel we deserve the sentence of unforgive-ness.

Unforgive-ness is a death sentence.

Think about it. If God did not offer forgiveness we are condemned.

Let me spell it out clearly - damned to hell - a real place for those who do not want the forgiveness of God, (the choice is yours).

Are we bigger than God?

I’m not saying, all the things we consider deeply regrettable are sinful - I’m saying we classify them as  unforgivable. Some may be sinful acts - in which case we should seek God’s forgiveness, but some are simply misguided thoughts or the lack thereof and not sinful in nature,... Bottom line, forgive yourself and move on to a glorious life in Christ, where you are human and full of mistakes and poor memories… and lack initiative and more… stuff that is funny and crazy and silly...and yet more...

Hey, if you wake tomorrow it’s your refresh - your reset button. You get another fresh new day to try again - so do something different.

Christ forgives, you should too.

Soli Deo Gloria